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Jamie B. Stroud, Ph.D., mother of Rev. Beth Stroud, is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her research has shown that the UMC is inconsistent in its treatment of and stance toward its non-heterosexual members and sends them conflicting messages. The following is an essay by Dr. Stroud. A Mother’s Struggle This journey Beth is on has been troublesome and painful for me. At times I have wondered if it has been even more agonizing for me than it has been for her. Although I know she is doing the right thing and I am amazed at and proud of her way of handling this entire situation, I am furious with the United Methodist Church (UMC). The UMC has been “family” to me for years. I loved the UMC. My mother grew up in the UMC, as did my husband and I. We raised our children in the UMC, and it played a tremendous role in shaping who they are today as adults. But today I know the UMC differently, and I feel betrayed by my church. I am deeply hurt by this denomination that raised me, that taught me of Jesus’ and God’s love and acceptance of each of us as individuals, that taught me about unconditional love, that taught me to be accepting of all persons, and now tells me that my beloved daughter is unacceptable as a minister? How can I be loyal to a denomination that encourages its members to be dishonest, to be discriminatory, to be judgmental, to be prejudiced. I feel disillusioned by the UM denomination that teaches its children one thing but practices another. To me, it is unfathomable that the UMC baptizes infants, promising to support them as they grow in faith, and later says “Whoops, you’re not who we thought you were; we don’t want you to be in ministry.” That is not what I was taught growing up. How can anyone, especially the UMC, know Beth and know of her faith, integrity, witness, and talents and say she is not qualified to be a UM pastor? She is one of the most gifted and most effective preachers (and pastors) I have ever had the privilege to know and hear. I say this only partly from a mother’s somewhat biased perspective and to a greater extent from what I have heard her parishioners say about her, her preaching, her teaching, and her impact upon them. She is much more qualified than many other pastors who are filling pulpits and taking no stands. Beth is not a political or public person; instead, she is quiet and private. It took a lot of faith, courage, and trust for her to take the step of coming out to her congregation. She still loves her denomination and does not want people to be angry with or think badly of the UMC. My perspective is different from hers. I am enraged, and I grieve for the church I thought I knew. I feel conflicted, discouraged, disillusioned, and alienated, and I don’t know how to reconcile these feelings with my lifelong love of the UMC. Instead, I question every day why I remain a member. I do not want my child (or anyone else’s) treated like this. I do not understand how the church can do this to Beth. How can I not feel angry? How can I feel welcome in a denomination that tells me that my daughters are incompatible with Christian teaching and are not welcome? For me, these are ongoing questions, and I am still looking for answers.
For more information about Dr. Stroud’s research on why gay and lesbian United Methodists remain loyal to the UMC, please visit her website at: www.gumresearch.net
Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays The Fine Art of Being Come Out to A straight person's guide to gay etiquette. Gay Family Support Presbyterian Parents of Gays and Lesbians, Inc., Additional links for gay, bisexual, lesbian & transgender rights activism
About Rev. Stroud's decision to annouce her sexual identity Her "Walking In The Light" sermon (including video excerpt) Bishop Weaver's interview about Rev. Stroud's decision The United Methodist Book of Discipline's stance on homosexuality Essay by Jamie Stroud, Ph.D. (Rev. Stroud's mother) Additional links for gay, bisexual, lesbian & transgender rights activism Visit Beth Stroud's own website (bethstroud.info) Copyright © 2004 Video Vérité. All rights reserved
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